It's hard to believe it's only been ten short weeks since we all watched Ben send JoJo home, right into the arms of the ABC producers that offered her 25 eligible bachelors (and one former Bachelor ...cough, cough...Juan Pablo) to really show that Ben Higgins what he's missing. She's no doubt picked her final man, but we are all about to see how this unfolds.
When JoJo was announced as the next Bachelorette on After the Final Rose, that was the champagne glass clink heard round the world. I personally could not have cared less if Lauren and Ben got married on national television - we are getting 12 episodes of nothing but JoJo (and hopefully her two hunky brothers)!
I've scoured the internet to make my early predictions about who will stay and who will go. While I can't completely fill out my bracket until we meet the gents who will steal her heart, here's my first impression roses (and thorns).
Let's start with The Good:
- Jordan Rodgers, 28, Former Pro Football Quarterback
This guy is 100% my frontrunner. He's adorable, he was a former pro football player, Aaron Rodger's brother, instagrams cute photos of he and his brother in footie pajamas, still goes on family vacation at the beach...do I need to continue or do you guys get it? He has the genuine qualities that Ben had, with more of an edge, which we can all agree JoJo is looking for. As we all know (cough, Olivia), the contestant who often looks good on paper can easily fold under the pressure of the Bachelor franchise.
2. Luke, 31, War Veteran
This guy shows up on a unicorn, and he packs a pair of cowboy boots as a gift to JoJo! He seems to be "here for the right reasons", and I think he and JoJo could really hit it off.
3. James Taylor, 29, Singer/Songwriter
His name is James Taylor, he's a Singer/Songwriter, and his introduction to JoJo includes an original song and his guitar. She seems to like it, and I think he is a pretty genuine guy that could go pretty far. He seems like he will be one of the "protectors" in the house that tattles on the bad actors just here to be the next Bachelor.
3. Robby, 27, Former Competitive Swimmer
I have a soft spot for competitive swimmers, they are usually really good guys, but they also have an edge. This guy is family oriented, looking for love, and I think he and JoJo will really hit it off. He will be one of two - slow starter who starts to shine around Week 5, or early frontrunner who drops off around Week 5. Only time will tell...
5. Alex, 25, U.S. Marine
This guy is the definition of "the good guys". He's a Marine, he values his family, his military career and his civilian career that will no doubt follow, and the "most outrageous" thing he's done is "ripped the door off of a totaled, burning car and pulled the unconscious driver out to safety." He probably volunteers at the puppy rescue on weekends too. This is another one that could go either way - he could hang right in the middle of the pack the whole way through and make it to top 6 or Hometowns, or he could be a strong contender.
I've given you my thoughts on the best of the best, and here's just the worst:
1. Chad, 28, Luxury Real Estate Agent
Chad spent $7,000 on dressing himself for this season, and doesn't hesitate to tell us once that he's good looking. Definitely here to be the next Bachelor. I give him until Week 4, when he does something so terribly rude that JoJo is ready to let him loose.
2. Evan, 33, Erectile Dysfunction Expert
Outside of the fact his general style reminds me of Pepe Le Pew, he has made his living on the impotence of other men. I'm just not into this guy - JoJo might be, but I would say this guy doesn't make it past Week 3.
3. Daniel, 31, Male Model
In a recent ABC promo video, Daniel "takes the suit out of suitor" and decides to strip down to his skivvies during the cocktail party in a completely drunken stupor. If Lace taught us anything, it's that getting drunk at the cocktail party and verbally harassing the person you're trying to win the affections of keeps you around until Week 3. I think JoJo's tolerance for nonsense is less than Ben's, so I would say this guy goes home after the cocktail party, presumably with his clothes on.
4. Brandon, 28, Hipster
I don't feel like I need to explain this. His occupation is Hipster. Unless you made a hipster app or run a hipster blog and are secretly rolling in it but still act like a hipster, this is NOT an occupation. I think we say goodbye to Brandon tonight.
5. Nick S., 26, Software Salesman
Does anyone else see the scarf this dude is wearing? He dislikes "scary cheeses". What does that even mean? I've never met a cheese I didn't like. His greatest achievement is also "Eagle Scout". Goodnight and Good Luck, Nick S. My prediction is that he doesn't make it past his first rose ceremony.
Theres 5 Good and 5 Bad, which leaves 15 more guys who will fade into the middle and a "mystery bachelor" - my guess is Juan Pablo. What do you guys think? Who's going home tonight?